


Thanatophobia

by EmbretheWorld



Category: Epithet Erased (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, As in I make up names for Percys parents, As in I tried making a solid backstory which gives the reason why percy is a police offiver, Blood, COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS APPRECIATED, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotions, F/M, Fainting, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I Tried, I mention Meryl, I'm pretty sure their the same thing but ok, Kinda Ramsey/Percy but kinda not, Molly is MENTIONED but not here, Multi, Noncanon parent names, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Of course it's only for a few minutes, Sobbing, Swearing, Sylvie tries his best, Sylvie uses nightmare fuel and regrets it in the end, Thats basically what she feels, a solid backstory made, along with howie, but I dont talk about her in all honestly, but isnt the best at apologizing, but its not canon, chapter 2 was deleted cause i changed the plot a bit, except it's not that big of an au its just kind of an alternate way things can go, ill be editing the first chapter a bit before I post the third, well its my idea of what i think is canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:14:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22906054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmbretheWorld/pseuds/EmbretheWorld
Summary: Thanatophobia, the fear of the idea of yourself dying or the loss of a loved one or someone close.
Relationships: Molly Blyndeff & Percival "Percy" King, Percival "Percy" King & Ramsey Murdoch, Percival "Percy" King/Ramsey Murdoch, Sylvester "Sylvie" Ashling & Percival "Percy" King, Sylvester "Sylvie" Ashling & Ramsey Murdoch
Comments: 9
Kudos: 48





	1. Chapter 1

**Thanatophobia** , the fear of the idea of yourself dying or the loss of a loved one or someone close.

* * *

It wasn't supposed to be like this, it just wasn't supposed to go this way, yet it had. 

It kept on happening over and over in front of Percy's again, and again and again. Like a broken record forced to repeat that same annoying sound over and over again. Except this time it was worse. It wasn't just a sound- if it was a sound she would have been fine with it- it was fear, it was something that was playing with her emotions on a constant loop. The images were burned into her brain, even with closing her eyes they wouldn't leave or go away, she was being forced against her own will to sit through this horrid imagery despite any protest she could manage to force through.

However, those protests often were dissolved into soft quiet sobs as she felt her own strength be sapped from her slowly but surely. There was no way she could win this battle or even escape it if she tried to, she had to just sit through it and hope it'd be over soon enough; though to her, it seemed never-ending. 

Percy didn't find it particularly fair that not only her but Ramsey and Sylvie had to witness it too since nightmare fuel would be able to be seen by not only her but by the caster themselves along with bystanders nearby. It felt invasive, especially since it wasn't only digging deep into her worst fears, but to her **_memories_** too. 

The memory of her mother and father, Eliza and Micah's(These names are not canon, I made them up) death filling her mind. Coincidence enough, they were detectives just like her, however, they just so happened to fall to a fate she feared that she'd eventually fall to herself, ironic enough, the apple didn't fall far from the tree in her case. 

There had been others dying before them, Molly, Howie, Ramsey, Sylvie, Meryl, and many more innocent lives killed off in front of her, lives she **could** have saved but didn't. 

She found herself helpless in the situation in front of her, especially since the worst was just now presented in front of her. The memory of her parent's death. 

The maroon color was seemingly everywhere, splattered onto the floor as if an artist has carelessly flung paint around everywhere. The upper bodies of both Eliza and Micah's bodies were brutely bloodied, she couldn't even make out any details in their faces by how distorted they looked. Their room looked as if it had been ransacked, papers and documents scattered everywhere. Just like how she remembered it to be when she was a child. 

To Percy, seeing her dead parents once more overwhelmed her with so many emotions she had once forgotten coming back to hit her all at once; along with all her strength leaving her too. As her strength fully left her, her knees buckled underneath her and she saw her form flicker a bit, between her now and child her as if to convey some sort of meaning out of it.

She tried to reach out towards them, but couldn't, she didn't have enough strength- or stamina- too, she was never strong, never strong like her father or mother; even if they were Mundies. Tears started to make their way down her freckled cheeks as she thought about her parents once more.

Never had enough stamina, never had enough strength to defend herself with, never had enough time to socialize, never had enough time for _ **her**_. Was she upset her parents never spent time with her? Kinda. Yes, they had jobs too but they never really spent time with her, they spent time with their job more than her.

She could have used that help while they were still alive with her epithet, she needed it more than ever, she had no idea how to use it and epithets were rare back then so there was no guarantee someone could teach her. Percy never blamed them though, they were Mundies, they didn't understand Epithets and they probably never would, just like how she never blamed them for not telling her that they would be gone soon. She wouldn't have understood what they meant, but not she did. 

A memory came back into play for her, the night of the day her parents were found dead, a night where sleep hadn't come. She stayed up all night, curled in on herself, so many thoughts racing through her mind. What if they come for me? She asked herself. They never did, and they never would, or that was what she thought. 

Percy wrapped her arms around herself, trying to find some semblance of comfort out of the seemingly never-ending nightmare. It isn't real, it's just a nightmare, a voice in her head was telling her, while the other voice just screamed, overtaking her sense of reason, her _only_ sense of reason.

You have to leave, it screamed, leave. But Percy couldn't, she couldn't move, she couldn't do **_anything_** _ **!**_ Just like when she was a child. When she was a _helpless_ , child. 

_Helpless_ , just like a **Mundie** , you have an **Epithet** , you should be better- stronger than this, the deafening voice spoke, poison-laced in its voice cutting into her like a knife. You were never as strong as your parents were and you never **will** be, those you care about will die due to your failure as a cop and a friend, and you will be reminded for that for as long as you live. 

Another sob escaped her lips as her frame started to shake.

* * *

Sylvie using nightmare fuel on Percy was ill-intent, more of in a moment of adrenaline mixed with the chance if bitter-tasting defeat that made him do it, yet again, it wasn't of ill-intent, after all, he had regretted it a moments later. Sylvie paced back and forth around the room, the rat-man watched him, looking at the clock every few seconds. Currently, Sylvie was trying to think of a way to dispell nightmare fuel without losing the battle while doing so, but no clear options were coming to mind. 

Originally, he wouldn't done it if it were any other scenario but this one was different from the others he had, a nightmare not like any other. Although in retrospect he should have figured that since cops usually had to deal with harsh stuff on a daily basis, whether it be murder, blood, break in's and many more scarring things. So it made sense for Percy's nightmare to be so gory, being fueled by death and blood, but still, something about it seemed off. 

Sylvie let out a sigh, he wanted to win the battle- the battle which was supposed to be training for them both- but at the same time, he had no choice but to lose it instead. As he faced towards Percy, he saw the rat-man- Ramsey Murdoch- quirk an eyebrow at what he was doing, Sylvie ignored it. 

Forfeit, his mind told him, that's all you have to do to win this, you can settle this another time even if it hurts to do so. But that was a chance he never got to have. 

Sylvie felt all the strength and stamina he lost in the battle suddenly come back to him, heal him, all the scrapes he had previously got now all healed up. That wasn't supposed to... He froze and he looked towards Percy with a wide-eyed expression. 

She laid on the ground, slightly curled up on herself, not bothering to get up or move, but instead stayed there as if she couldn't. He sucked in a sharp breath, shoulders slightly slouching; he had fucked up majorly. 

He turned away from the sight to process what he did, hearing the Ramsey shout the police officer's name and presumably to try and shake her awake. 

It's not like she was going to respond either way


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this chapter was slightly revised, so shush.

Percy hadn't known what had hit her that moment, she was too focused on the scene in front of her, not able to pry her eyes away from it. Even if she did close her eyes it wouldn't leave her mind, it felt as if she was being punished for something she did, something she couldn't have prevented or caused she wanted to but yet, she was still being punished for it.

That was until it all went away, the visions of her parent's dead body and flickering figure of her as a child and her now disappearing into thin air as if it was never there in the first place, she was no longer frozen in place anymore, but instead on her side, vision blurring into slight darkness.

She had lost the battle, all the strength and stamina she had previously lost was gone, but despite that, she still felt like something was amiss.

Percy felt like she had lost something, in the end, dismissing the victory she didn't get. Maybe it was the fact she had to relive something she never wanted to, or see those she cared about die- yeah, that was it. But soon enough, she was starting to slowly gain her consciousness back soon enough, enough to recognize that she was shaking.

She didn't know what had gotten into her, maybe it was the bitter coldness of the nightmare fuel still making her frame shake- at least that's what she thought was making her shake so much- but she couldn't find the strength to get up and move, but instead, fall to her side and curl up on herself just like when she was a child. Had she... Fainted? Had the nightmare fuel taken so much out of her that she had fainted in a response to it?

Percy didn't know what made her faint, was it the fear? She couldn't remember the last time she felt fear like that or was remotely scared; only memories of when she was a child resided. She wasn't still scared though, was she? She had gotten over it a long time ago, she didn't have anything to fear after all everything was fine right?! **Everything** _was_ ** _fine!_**

_..._

Was it **though**? Was her getting shaken up enough to the point of tears and curling up on herself and fainting fine? Percy wasn't sure anymore. She didn't know how- she was never _taught_ ** _how_** \- it could be fine, so was this fine? She was starting to question herself some more. She was never sure how to feel, so she just assumed it was all fine despite all the warnings she was given. But what made this time so different?

Maybe it was the overwhelming feeling of guilt and fear she felt consuming her those minutes that caused her to act like this. But that wouldn't explain why her freckled cheeks felt wet as if she had been crying. Had she been crying? Yet again she wasn't really sure since she had been overwhelmed with the current situation at hand. 

As she tried to calm down from the overwhelming amount of emotions she was feeling, she felt a loud sound struck through her skull, a dull pain she had strengthened in her head to the point of ringing. It sounded like her name. She felt herself curl more in on herself as if by instinct- which it wasn't for her- footsteps that were once far away were sounding even closer and closer by the second, and before she knew it she saw Ramsey. So that's who had shouted her name earlier(or at least she assumed it was).

Ramsey looked down at Percy, crouching down next to her. "You think you're okay to walk?" Percy shook her head, she felt like she wasn't ready to do anything anymore. He slid his arms underneath her's and pulled her close, Percy responded by gripping as his shirt so she wouldn't fall, leaning closer into his touch. 

He let out a heavy sigh and looked towards Sylvie who refused to even glance towards them. "We'll be leaving now, no thanks to you." Ramsey bitterly commented. Sylvie shoved his hands in his pockets, walking away from them. "Yeah, whatever..."

Ramsey pulled Percy close to him, she responded by leaning her full weight into him. Moving closer in his hold as if trying to claw some sort of warmth from him since her frame was oh so bitterly cold to the point of shaking.

Ramsey questioned how someone could grow so cold to the point of shaking in just a few minutes, was it the effect of nightmare fuel? He wasn't so sure, he had never been **_hit_** by it before. He was glad he wasn't hit by it but he wasn't glad that Percy was hit by it, it seemed as if he was intruding on something personal he wasn't supposed to know, especially since Percy's figure kept flashing between herself and what seemed like a child. He assumed it was something he wasn't supposed to know and probably shouldn't bring up either.

After all, how would you bring that up? 'Hey, when you were hit with nightmare fuel I saw that you were kneeled in front of these two figures that were covered in blood and you kept flashing between yourself and a child. What's was that about?' Definitely, not like that. Ramsey might have been a criminal, but he was a criminal of morals. Questioning a sensitive subject he knows was off-limits was not one of them. 

He hoisted Percy up by holding her in bridal style, and after catching his balance he began walking towards the door, not noticing the problem with that just yet. 

Right as Ramsey was at the door, he heard someone cough behind him. He turned on his heels and gave the kid a narrow glare. "What do ya want now? Can't you see I'm busy?" Sylvie let out a small 'tch' noise in response, placing a hand on his hip. He fished out of his pocket a card and pointed it in Ramsey's direction.

"Listen, if she wants to consult a professional about what happened to her when I used my nightmare fuel on her, my office is always open. I specialize in epithet-based problems so I'm sure I might be able to help at least a little bit with this." Sylvie offered a look of slight concern but care on his face. 

Ramsey merely raised an eyebrow. "Ah," He pushed his glasses on his face. "I see, here- let me just." He walked around the side of Ramsey and put the card in his pocket. 

He took a step back with a seemingly proud look on his face, his gaze flickered up to meet Ramsey's. "There, give me a call tomorrow or some other day if you need to talk to someone about this," Suggested Sylvie, "Are you trying to advertise your business by making Percy relive some traumatizing shit so she goes there to fix it?" Ramsey suspiciously asked, tilting his head at the child.

Sylvie blinked, " **What** ," He spoke, Ramsey narrowed his gaze.

"You heard what I said, was that your idea from the start?" Ramsey questioned.

Sylvie inhaled a deep breath pinching the bridge between his nose. "No." He started. "I had no idea this was going to happen since she proposed the idea, not me, if I knew it was going to happen, I would have said no. Besides, it's just my way of apologizing for what I did, the first session is free after all." Sylvie conceded, slightly waving his hand. He walked around the two and held the door open. 

"There, you might need that, or do you think I'm trying to trick you by opening the door?" Ramsey let out a long, heavy sigh. "I'm honestly too tired to question you at this point," Ramsey stated, walking by him and to his slightly beat-up car. 

As Ramsey was walking towards his car, he felt Percy shift in his hold, he stopped in his tracks, questioning whether he should keep on moving or just stop completely. Ramsey chose to stop. 

Percy let out a small groan, opening her closed eyes and looking and looking at Ramsey slightly groggily. "I'd rather you put me down now," Percy said, Ramsey gave a small nod and carefully placing her down onto the ground, be cautious just in case she had to catch or balance or anything like that. Luckily, she didn't need to and stood as if nothing had previously happened to her.

"You okay Percy? You didn't look too good a while ago," Ramsey inquired, shifting his weight onto the other foot. She gave him a small curtly nod, walking towards Ramsey's car.

"Are you really sure you're okay?" Ramsey softly spoke, a softness that was unusual to his voice, odd but comforting in its own way. Percy froze, taking in the question as a whole and trying to find an answer or solution to it. 

She couldn't find one. 

"I..." She hesitated, "I don't... know?..." It sounded more like a question when leaving Percy's mouth, but she had been asking herself that the entire time here. Was she okay? She didn't know, Percy didn't know at all. 

Was she okay with having her fear of those close to her dying right in front of her- and not being about to do a thing, might she add- and reliving the tragic death of her parents? No, she would _never_ be okay with that; especially since both Sylvie and Ramsey were there and happened to die in that nightmare of hers. Especially since she **wasn't** ready to talk about her parent's death, she had never been ready to talk about it and never would be, she could never trust anyone to talk about it- or was it the fact that no one offered to talk about it with her that made it so scary to talk about it?

Was it the fact she had never talked about her parents before? She was never the best at talking, and never would be but... Is... Is that why she didn't _know_ what to do? She was never taught how to express emotions since she was never communicated how to express them. Was it the fact that because of her parent's death people were too scared to talk to her? Was that it, because... That's the only logical explanation for this onslaught of emotions she was feeling.

Percy had never talked to anyone about her parents- keep on mind, no one ever asked her- so nor Meryl, Howie or anyone else close knew about how they died, or anything about them. She was quietly elated that they never prodded her for information on it, nor look through her records to find out why she never told them anything. After all, with a few quick searches through her records in the police office computer and they had all they needed to know.

Percy looked towards the ground and away from Ramsey. "I- I'd currently rather not discuss such matter at a time like this." She responded. She had already done enough thinking about it as it was. 

Ramsey nodded, "Alright, we'll talk about it later then," He pulled took out his car eyes and turned on his cars, and the two situated themselves in their seats with seatbelts on. Ramsey in the drivers and Percy in the front passenger seat. It was quiet.

Ramsey looked towards the road, turning his keys in the ignition and starting the car, the engine started with a loud booming roar, and they started driving back to Percy's house. Percy would have offered her phone so he could put in the location on his GPS but it seems like he already had. How exactly he did so, was a mystery, and where he knew where to go was another mystery.

Percy shifted to lean on her side on the car seat, seatbelt constricting her movement; she let out a small sigh. She watched the buildings swiftly past by from the window, a small frown on her face. Yet again, she wasn't sure why she was doing this, most likely cause being boredom. Maybe she was looking up at the setting sky for some answers, some answers on what she was feeling and why she was feeling that way. It's not like she was going to get any answers, but she continued to do so until the sky grew dark and they found their way at her house. 

Even if she didn't want this company to end, all good things will always come to an end whether you like it or not.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter, although, it is a bit short, I hope it doesn't disappoint you all though.

Somewhere during the drive to her house, Percy unintentionally let her eyes stay closed for too long and fell asleep. If Ramsey asked- which he didn't- she'd just say she was resting her eyes for a few moments, when in reality that was a lie too. As she was being driven to her house she started to ponder what happened in the battle and where she went wrong. She had fainted, the last time something like that happened was a long while back. She was with Meryl when something like that had happened, and that was before Redwood Run ever happened.

What had made this time so different? Maybe it was the fact she was surrounded by different people, people she grew up worked with. Sure, with Ramsey it made no difference since he had started using his appraising skill for the police force but he was no longer under the watch of the police force anymore, but instead, a free man that could do whatever he wanted to do. There was no reason for her to trust him since he could do whatever he wanted to her while she was asleep, yet she did. It was strange, it felt _strange_ , but it felt oddly comforting at the same time. 

And then you had Sylvie, she had never met a boy with that kind of epithet that used it for good, or someone who wanted to train with her, sleeping based epithets were rare, and those who had them only used it for themselves. Percy had meet people with epithet's similar, however, those people were criminals and used them for crimes instead of good, Sylvie was luckily different from them. And she was thankful for that.

But before Percy knew it she was being shaken awake, only to wake up to see that they were at her house already. A small smile made its way on her face, home, something that didn't require questions along with answers as well. A place she could be at peace with and have no worries or any threats to worry about. A safe place for her. She could already feel some of her strength return to her but maybe a good night's rest would work too.

Ramsey stopped his car in front of the house, exiting the car followed by Percy. He locked his car and followed behind Percy. She quickly unlocked her door and opened it, only too look towards Ramsey who had already turned on his heels, back facing her. "Well, I guess I'll see you around... Maybe," He said, waving and walking towards his car.

Percy looked towards Ramsey who was walking towards his car, he couldn't leave her, not just yet... The next thing she knew is that her hand was holding Ramsey by the wrist, meeting his eyes with a dismal look on her face. "Stay," A little bit of hope leaked into her voice.

Ramsey didn't move for a bit, that was until he tilted his head. "Why?..." _Why me, why me out of all the people you could choose, why would you want me to stay? I'm a criminal, I can literally_

"I just-" She stopped for a few seconds, taking in a deep breath as her eyes grew slightly teary, a veil of loneliness threatening to cast itself upon her at any moment.

"...I just don't want to be alone right now," Or anymore, she felt guilt tug at her heart. She shouldn't have to bother him with her problems, after all, they weren't his, they were her's. Or maybe he could help her with her problems, Percy thought, but she dismissed the thought immediately, there was no way that could happen. Or maybe they weren't? She had heard that people would go to others and talk about their problems to them, wouldn't that make her no different if she did the same?

He looked towards the ground but gave a hesitant "Sure," in response and followed her into the house. He slept on the couch that night.

Ramsey thought that this would be the end to this saga of events, but it was only the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready, because the adventure has just about begun? Or has it. Tune in next time in the morning after(isn't an official title) or don'(you don't have to your choice). Or maybe in the Deck of Cards Drabbles(for an idea I have, which involves an investigation fanfic that I probably won't make).

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think so far? There's going to be more, along with some editing of this chapter later on too.


End file.
